Wait....What???

So, I fell off of blog wagon because I was simply overtaken by life and the craziness of being a full-time mommy, coupled with a full-time teacher and full-time wife. As many of you may know, I switched from the world of sweet seconds to fabulous firsts this year and boy...what a switch! I am so in love with these sweet six-few seven-year olds it is unreal. The innocents in their smile and the awestruck wonder they exude is amazing. They have helped me rekindle a love for teaching. First grade is so my speed....FAST! Anyway..on to the post....
Pretty much like everyone else, I am in complete and utter disbelief over the events that occured this past week in CT. Last Friday began like any other. My children are released from busroom at 8:15 where they walk down the long hallway to our room. There they wait quietly to be invited in. I usher them in with "good morning" and hugs all around. {I must insert here that firsties hug on average 69 times a day. NOT KIDDING!} They fervently unpack, potty, and begin their welcome work. 10 minutes later, our guidance counselor leads the morning announcements school wide. Pledge, patriotic song, moment of silence to reflect on the day, description of our character word of the week and how to display it with our actions and words. She closes each day with, "And have a wonderful day boys and girls!" in her sweetest teacher voice. My firsties and I sing and gather for our calendar and morning message. At this point in the day, I get to hear how Adrianne's* mom is turning 40 today! Billy's* brother is having knee surgery tomorrow. Noah's* dog passed away last Saturday. Jonah*, Avery*, and Carson's* daddies deployed yesterday together...and they aren't coming home until July....etc. I get an in-depth look into my babies eyes. This is where I get to know them. This is where we laugh the most, cry together and all and all build a relationship. Anyway....I digress...last week we were doing an indepth informational study of reindeer. We started reading fictional stories about reindeer. We concluded the study reading non-fiction books about reindeer, then brainstorming facts about this creature, and we even wrote our very first research paper! On Friday, we would conclude our reindeer unit by making reindeer sandwiches and building a reindeer out of various shapes. (And I must insert here they were absolutely adorable and the sandwiches were cute and delicious!) My camera is on my desk or I would flood this post with pictures!
We were so immersed in our work we never knew about the horrendous events our "peers" seperated by only miles were facing in those very moments. Time and time again I have thought about if that were me. If those were my sweet innocent, babies? If we were bombarded in such a way that you can't even begin to brace yourself? It is completely unfathomable. I can't even begin to say I know what they are going through, but last year we had a "gunman" scare and I remember the sheer horror that filled me. I played it cool to my children, but in my mind I was thinking all about what we could do should we need a game plan. There was absolutely no way any of my students could be harmed! I can actually feel how those teachers who did face the massacre felt. It's in our teacher genetics. My heart breaks all around for this. I have many questions about why, but there are somethings I won't know until I get to heaven. I can, however, pray. Today, I pray God wraps his arms around those broken hearted parents who are laying their babies to rest today and in the days ahead. I pray for a peace that none of us can understand or comprehend. I pray for the teachers of Sandy Hook Elementary that are mourning the loss of their friends and colleagues while praising the Lord their life was spared. I pray for the parents of the surving students who feel a gaping hole in their heart who aren't sure what to do. How do you comfort someone who has just suffered an unimaginable blow? I pray God will guide their speech and actions. I pray for the leaders of their school board. They now have positions to fill and decisions to be made during this time of grief. I am covering the student body in prayer daily. How do you move on? Slowly? I also pray for the comfort of all my fellow educators. I didn't think twice about walking into school on Monday. I had 22 babies I needed to hug tightly as least once more. For most teachers, I think they can concur; but for those with fear, I pray God will give them peace. We are placed in positions for a reason. The unimaginable blow to Sandy Hook has raised the attention of the world. God doesn't promise us tomorrow, so we should live a life prepared to go at any time.
Anyway, as an educator, I needed to say my piece. I feel heart-broken with saddness, but encouraged to let me children feel and increasing amount of love each day.
Thank you Lord for the children you have given me in past and all of the babies I will teach in the future. I want to be used by you!